Vincent Dunne, a 33 year old computer hardware technician, was extremely confused after watching three seasons of what he thought was a new Red vs Blue spin-off and realizing Tucker didn’t appear once.

“I finished watching the new Red vs Blue show, RvB: Zero, and decided to go to Twitter and let my followers know how much I hated it. After my fourth tweet the autoplay feature turned to some new Red vs Blue show I haven’t seen before, called RvB:Y. Weird name, but we just had RvB:0 so I know better than to question Rooster Teeth.

It really is hard to fault a Red vs Blue fan for confusing RWBY with RvB, at least for a brief moment. In Vincent’s case, however, the confusion lasted for several hours.

“So I’m watching this RvB:Y show and I immediately notice how many more chicks there are in the show. The first few episodes had like eight – that’s how much the entire Red vs Blue series had, if you count the tank! The second thing that bothered me was that Tucker was missing. I like him, he’s my favorite. Bow-chika-bow-wow,” Vincent hummed, while pumping his fists in the air for nobody in particular. “But eventually I forgot all about that and laughed my way throughout the show’s typical comedic hijinks.”

We had to ask the 33 year old if RWBY’s distinct style or animation quality didn’t set off any alarms. Vincent was unfazed: “It’s all 3D anyway. Sure they weren’t in their armor but I’m not a big Halo fan so I figured that might be from the new game. The graphics also looked similar to those I saw in that funny screenshot from the new Halo, so I didn’t question much.

Meet Craig: Halo Infinite's Flat Graphics Are Already A Meme
An unfortunate screenshot of Halo: Infinite in 2020, before the game’s graphics were improved.

We asked Vincent if he didn’t think that an RvB show having none of the characters was at all strange. Weirdly enough, it felt like he found the question itself even stranger: “What do you mean none of the characters were in the show? What about that redhead chick, uh… Carolina, yeah! She had a spear and kicked ass like nobody else. When she went against those four dudes, it reminded me so much of Tex fighting the Reds and Blues – I figured it must be the same people animating these shows.”

We wanted to know if the terribly different setting and tone didn’t clue Vincent in. Apparently not: “It wouldn’t be the first or the third time the Reds and Blues traveled through time or dimensions, so it wasn’t too weird. Besides, everyone in this R.W.B.Y. was also color coded, so it felt as a more natural spin-off than RvB: Zero.” Vincent Dunn took great care pronouncing the RWBY letters one by one before continuing: “So at the end of season 3, when C.T. burns Carolina alive, I realized something was definitely wrong. I spent hours without seeing Tucker once! I went to IMDB to double-check and in the middle of my third death threat to Torrian I realized R.W.B.Y. is an entirely different show!” Vincent was referencing the RvB: Zero creator Torrian Crawford, who recently and unfairly was a target of harassment by the show’s critics. We could not find out how Torrian is related to all this or what’s actually wrong with Vincent, apart from a mild case of dyslexia.

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By Lance White

Founder of bumbleby.com, enjoyer of terrible taste and even worse takes. Will take any opportunity he can to shill https://vytalnews.com - a website you should totally visit.

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Texass
Texass
2 years ago

“We asked Vincent if he didn’t think that an RvB show having none of the characters was at all strange. Weirdly enough, it felt like he found the question itself even stranger”
I mean considering how few of the characters were in rvb zero i think that’s fair 😭😂